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Cruz has no physical flaws, the bent noses and crooked teeth we would normally use as signifiers. Of course, when faced with a Challenging Celebrity Situation, any journalist worth his coarse salt might actually educate himself on the actor-in-question's work and write about that, rather than meandering off on an impressionistic, useless, narcissistic tangent.

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It is golden in the heat She picks her splattered white napkin off her lap and rises from her chair.

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Oh, also, get your magazine to commission this guy to do your artwork: She is, for the moment, the Sexiest Woman Alive.


When she walks into a room, men start walking into furniture. If you're ever so fortunate as to interview a celebrity note:

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It is golden in the heat When it arrives, the beef is so rare that it is crimson and gleaming in the middle. She has little more to say.
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  1. She is, for the moment, the Sexiest Woman Alive. After that, unfortunately—with Cruz having focused her full energies on working that hot juicy steak into an exhausted puddle, rather than telling Jones anything about her family, her movies, or her politics—it's back to the matadors and the banderilleros.